People complicate ideas because they’re terrified of being wrong. They qualify and compromise and hedge their bets, because they’re afraid.
Few people are willing to stand up publicly for the simple, direct, powerful ideas they hold in private. Those that do adopt a no-nonsense approach are accused of oversimplifying the issues.
“Life is complicated,” people say. “Everything’s relative.”
But you know what? People used to say that stuff had to be complicated too. People used to say that working a steady desk job was as good as it gets.
The problem is fear of being wrong. If you defend a simple idea, like “Your life is 100% your responsibility and no one else’s,” people can attack that and possibly prove you wrong.
On the other hand, if you say: “Your life is kind of your responsibility, but it really depends on your upbringing and the neighborhood you grow up in and the kind of boss you have and the opportunities you get through sheer blind luck,” you haven’t really taken a position at all, so you can’t be proven wrong. You can always fall back on “It depends.”
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Feeling offended often gets in the way of meaningful change. When people feel slighted, disrespected, insulted – they immediately start looking for revenge, instead of solutions.
Supervisors scream at underperforming employees; employees accuse supervisors of stereotyping; teachers throw students into detention; countries issue condemnations of “provocative” behavior.
And the scariest part? How easy it is to offend people. Show up late to work, and the boss feels disrespected. Support one political party, and members of the other party take it as an attack on their personal values. Live a remarkable life, and some people get defensive because you’re not doing it their way.
Ironically – or appropriately – the things that offend us, that draw out passionate reactions, are the urgent problems most in need of solutions. Where there’s righteous indignation, where’s there’s fire and passion, there are opportunities for progress that often go unnoticed.
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When doing your legacy work, think about who you’re doing it for. Not just what, but who and why. Ask yourself:
- Who do I want to remember me?
- Who will be impacted by the work I’m doing?
- Why do they need what I’m giving?
Answering these questions helps you focus more on the specific needs of your audience (i.e., work that makes a difference), instead of throwing out “all-purpose” work (i.e., work that anyone can do).
But here’s something you may not have considered: when you choose an audience, you hand them a measuring stick and give them the power to judge your work.
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Thanks to everyone who took the time to respond to the AOGT reader survey – you’ve been hugely helpful! Let’s take a look at what you said, and what I’ll be doing or changing as a result. Note: I’ve rounded the numbers to the nearest whole percentage point.
On posts per week…
I asked: Currently, AOGT publishes 5 posts per week. What do you think about this posting schedule?
57% of you said: “It’s perfect as is.”
34% of you said: “I’d prefer 3 posts a week.”
9% of you said: “Information overload! 2 posts a week please.”
It sounds like nearly half of you are a bit overwhelmed by the 5-posts-per-week schedule, and half of you are happy with it.
Action plan: let’s compromise and take it down to 4 posts a week, then see how things play out. What do you think?
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At work, I’m trying to help my sub-managers learn to say no. More specifically, I’m trying to convince them it’s okay to say no to me.
As much as I like being in charge, and as much as I want people to support my ideas, I don’t need a team of people who agree with everything I do. In fact, I’ve tried to build a team of people who are strong where I’m weak and weak where I’m strong.
What I need (what every leader and movement needs) is people who are willing to disagree with me and defend their own independent judgment. When I screw up, I need teammates who will stand up and tell me that your idea is terrible, and here’s why – even if the final decision is mine.
In particular, I’m looking for three things in myself and others: conviction, honesty, and reason.
- Conviction means that you trust your own judgment and are willing to stand by what you believe is best, even if your boss/advisor/teammate/friend says otherwise.
- Honesty is the willingness to say what you mean without hiding behind euphemisms, throwing around exaggerations, or jumping onto the soapbox.
- Reason is the ability to defend your opinion, to give justifications for what you believe and why. It’s also a willingness to change your mind when or if you see that your reasons are flawed. Reason keeps conviction from becoming dogma or obstinacy.
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