Every Friday is guest post day. Today, please welcome Sibyl Chavis of The Alternaview.
Are you living better today than you were yesterday?
Are you continually accomplishing bigger and bigger goals? Are you getting better at what you do? Are you tapping into your strengths and are they improving?
As time goes on, are you feeling better and experiencing more and more happiness? Are you continually learning how to work well and relate to others?
Is there less and less emotional drama and conflict surfacing in your daily experiences? Are things in your life overall just getting better and better?
Now, for many of us, the answers to these questions will be mixed. We have those areas of life where we are doing really well (i.e. career, relationships, being in great shape and exercising) and possibly areas where we could be doing better (i.e. achieving long term goals).
In some areas, we may have really figured things out, but there are those other areas that we know are lagging behind and where we have yet to realize our full potential. Maybe we haven’t really given absolutely everything we know we can or we have allowed things to interfere with our continual drive and ability to push forward in certain areas.
Many people assume that this mixed bag of success is no big deal.
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Just because something is legal, ethical, and successful doesn’t mean it’s the right thing for you.
The test is whether or not you would be proud to explain to someone else what it is you do. By explain, I mean revealing the nuts and bolts of what you do every day – no sugarcoating, no overblown corporate job descriptions, no hedging or spin-doctoring.
How would you feel? Would you be proud to show off your work? Would you be proud of your legacy?
If not, why? Are you on the wrong path, or are you buying into popular criticism of a remarkable lifestyle?
There are two potential problems here: first, that you settle for a respectable, cushy job of which you’re secretly ashamed; and second, that you allow social pressure to make you ashamed without reason.
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I’m writing this from the bloggers’ lounge at SXSWi 2010. It’s my first time attending this brilliant madhouse of a conference, and I’ve quickly discovered that the heart of SXSW is meeting people. There are good panels, free food, free t-shirts, lots of giveaways … but more than anything else, this is about seeing people, saying hi, and making new friends.
But as I’ve written before, I’m a natural introvert. Making connections in a conference crowd is not my forte. Does that describe you too?
To meet people (at a conference or elsewhere), have fun, and make a meaningful connection, you have to avoid a few pitfalls:
- Starstruck syndrome. You walk into the room, see someone (internet) famous you look up to, and freeze. You want desperately to say hi, but you can’t just walk up, can you?
- Out of the loop syndrome. You walk into the room, and it seems like everyone’s already busy talking to someone. How do you enter the conversation without interrupting and looking like a rude jerk?
- No conversation starter syndrome. You can never think of a good excuse to start a conversation, so you just … never start one.
- Checklist syndrome. You walk into the room with an agenda: a list of people you simply have to talk to. You flit from person to person, demand an autograph/photo op/awkward ten-second conversation, then move on. At the end of the day, you don’t really know anyone, and no one knows you.
- Clingy gusher syndrome. You finally get some face time with someone awesome, and you immediately jump all over them, leaving them dazed and trying to get away – not the best first impression.
Here’s the good news: being introverted doesn’t mean you lack people skills. It does mean that you may have to work a little harder and push out of your comfort zone. Here are a few tips to help you out.
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Every Friday is guest post day. Today, we have an honest, inspiring post from Melissa Gorzelanczyk of Peace and Projects. Enjoy!
What do you want?
Go on. What is it?
Not so easy, I know.
On any given day, the things I want flip-flop. I waffle. I change my mind. So when someone asks me, “What do you want?” I finally found the reply to sum it up:
I want to give the right answer. And that isn’t always the honest one.
Because telling someone what I want feels locked in. I mean, they could broadcast it on Twitter and what happens if I change my mind?
Maybe you want to give the right answer, too. It’s a flawed cycle. It keeps all the secret, awesome, hidden wants hiding between the lines of our desires. The things we want come out too obvious and without detail.
So today, just to go on with your crazy little self, practice being honest about what you really want. Dust off the idea shelf of your mind. Lay them on the table and take a look.
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People complicate ideas because they’re terrified of being wrong. They qualify and compromise and hedge their bets, because they’re afraid.
Few people are willing to stand up publicly for the simple, direct, powerful ideas they hold in private. Those that do adopt a no-nonsense approach are accused of oversimplifying the issues.
“Life is complicated,” people say. “Everything’s relative.”
But you know what? People used to say that stuff had to be complicated too. People used to say that working a steady desk job was as good as it gets.
The problem is fear of being wrong. If you defend a simple idea, like “Your life is 100% your responsibility and no one else’s,” people can attack that and possibly prove you wrong.
On the other hand, if you say: “Your life is kind of your responsibility, but it really depends on your upbringing and the neighborhood you grow up in and the kind of boss you have and the opportunities you get through sheer blind luck,” you haven’t really taken a position at all, so you can’t be proven wrong. You can always fall back on “It depends.”
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