Warning: philosophical musings ahead.
“A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.” – Lao Tzu
I’ve had a kind of a love-hate relationship with quotes like this one. On one hand, I see why enjoying the journey is important, and I’ve also been in situations where an excess of planning and a tunnel-vision focus on the goal actually backfired.
But on the other hand, there’s also tremendous value in planning ahead, and in having a destination ahead of you. A traveler with no destination is merely a restless nomad, is he not? Destinations are our signposts, our landmarks that tell us where we’re going.
Which begs the question:
Do we care where we’re going?
The obvious answer is “Yes, of course we care where we’re going!” And yet, it’s been said that the destination doesn’t matter, so long as we appreciate the journey. And it seems that many people see wisdom in that statement.
Truthfully, that doesn’t make sense to me. Of course the journey is important. Of course it matters what you do and see along the way … but isn’t the destination the reason for making the trip in the first place? You can’t travel without arriving; all we can do is choose where and when the arrival takes place. Or can we?
“All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware.” – Martin Buber
Is it worth it to spend time on discovering the “secret destinations” in our lives? Or is it better to “give up the illusion of control,” as we’re so often told?
I believe that the answer lies not in the presence or absence of control, but in our ability to act. We may not always get the results we expect, but we can always do something in pursuit of those results. We control our actions, if not our circumstances. I think that’s key. I really do.
So much has been made of “giving up the illusion of control,” without offering up anything to take its place. As a result, we’ve come to deny responsibility and accept chaos. Is that any way to live?
I prefer to act – but the ability to act (the journey) doesn’t exist in a vacuum:
“A desire presupposes the possibility of action to achieve it; action presupposes a goal which is worth achieving.” - Ayn Rand
Are we content to let our destinations remain secret (after all, mystery is glamorous), or are we willing to put forth the effort to figure out where we’re heading before it hits us in the face?
***
In some ways, the destination-doesn’t-matter idea is an excuse.
We say: “I’m all about the journey. I don’t care about the destination.”
But often, we mean: “If I don’t care where I’m going, then I won’t be devastated if I never make it there.”
But no matter how hard we try to evade it, the truth is that we do care about our goals and destinations, and that failing to reach those goals does hurt.
Sometimes we say that learning to accept our lot in life is part of growing up. Is that really part of maturity – or is it just another kind of resignation? It’s neither wise nor mature to stop caring simply to avoid the risk of disappointment.
Here’s what I think: the journey is part of the destination. They’re both important. The journey takes place for the sake of the destination, and the destination matters because of the journey. It’s not a big deal just to be in Paris – but to have arrived in the city of love after a long trip and a heartbreaking romance … that’s something to remember.
What comes next?
Life is a series of departures and arrivals. We leave one city and move to another. We leave one state of mind and move to another. We reach our destinations, stay awhile, and get back on the road. We embark on quests, complete them, and move on.
What comes next? And where does it all end? Do we keep growing forever, or is there a point at which we ought to sit back, relax, and say, “This is good”?
Where are you going, my friends? What will you do when you get there? And what afterwards?
10 Comments on “The Journey, The Destination, and What Comes Next”
says:
Hey, Jeffrey. This is really food for thought. Does a journey have to be a real journey? Do you need to physically leave one place and go to another? Or can a journey be a decision to travel on a different path where you are, to do something you've hesitated to do or feared to do. For example, leaving a job can be called a “big move” or a “big step” even if you stay in the same house in the same city. It's interesting for me to think about because shortly I'll be going on an actual journey to a place I've never been. ( Or maybe I just had one glass of wine too many at dinner.)
says:
Hi Jeffrey – It's a paradox isn't it? Sounds like you're in just the right place for you at this moment in your life, honoring the journey but definitely needing to care about where you're going. And that makes sense, because you're on the ascent, you're climbing the mountain and you need to keep the summit in your sights. That's how it is in the first half of life. But things change when you start the descent, what seemed so utterly clear on your way up becomes murky. The quest itself takes on new meaning, as does everything that has come before. And it's not like you just sit back and relax and stop caring where you're going, but it's kind of like you're looking inward more than outward. It's really hard to explain. But my hunch is that the reason you have a love/hate relationship with those great quotes is because they were written by people on the descent. Anyway, I appreciate your philosophical musings, as well as the chance to muse a bit myself.
says:
These are really just some questions I've been asking myself lately and that I feel we could all spend some time thinking about. The journey is such a commonly used metaphor, yet I don't think we've examined all aspects of what that metaphor means.
says:
I get what you're saying, Patty. Attitudes and viewpoints change, and it's hard to see the world from anything but our own angles. I guess what I'm trying to express is the idea of moving and changing – and yes, just doing some philosophical musing.
says:
Where am I going? Forward. What will I do when I get there? Doesn't apply. And what afterwards? Bliss. Happiness. Fulfillment. Yes.
says:
It seems to me, the trick is knowing where you're headed, then having the faith to know that whatever happens along the way is helping you get there. The journey unfolds in surprising ways, but the destination remains certain and the same.
says:
Where am I going? Forward. What will I do when I get there? Doesn't apply. And what afterwards? Bliss. Happiness. Fulfillment. Yes.
says:
Jeffrey, I love this. I love the quote from Lao Tsu, yet I also had sometimes my problems with the implications some people made up from it. The thing to remember is you can't escape having a destination. Yet if you don't reach your destination (because circumstances changed the path), there is no use of feeling sad for a prolonged period of time, since the only benefit you could get from this experience was the journey. And all you could do is to act to the existing situation and go for another destination (since we are moving people, physically and psychologically) not being afraid to get there or not.
So the journey is what counts (and the destination – the planned one or the real one) is part of that.
But what starts each journey is a destination (we can't move our feets with that, so each step has a destination).
It we prefer one over the other, it is like asking “What is more important the hen or the egg?”
says:
I used to feel that the journey was the important part, experiencing the moment and enjoying it for what it was but of late I have come to the realization without setting a destination it is not a journey just mindless wandering. I now prefer to view the Lao Tzu quote in a different fashion: While you travel be open to the opportunities that surround you rather then closing them off because of some preconceived plan. As for the second part I take it to mean don't be focused on saying “when this happens i can do this”, instead focus on what you can do now and let the arriving take care of it's self.
says:
People who say it is all about the journey are usually lost, speaking from experience. As they say in “Paint Your Wagon”:
Where am I goin'?
I don't know
Where am I headin'?
I ain't certain
All I know
Is I am on my way
When will I be there?
I don't know
When will I get there?
I ain't certain
All that I know
Is I am on my way