Author’s Note: This is the eighth post in my 12 Great Commandments series, inspired by Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project.
One of my most important personal commandments, and yet one of the ones I struggle with most, is control your momentum. That’s the eighth commandment.
What do I mean by momentum? I mean that, because we’re living, changing beings, we can’t stand still. No matter what we’re doing or not doing, no matter how good or bad our current situations are, we’re always going somewhere.
This too shall pass. Often we hear this wisdom applied to misfortune or tragedy, in which case we really mean time heals. We forget, sometimes, that the triumph shall pass as well. We forget that our current state of affairs is not merely a snapshot, but an arrow.
Let me say that again, because I think it’s important. Each moment in life is not merely a snapshot, but an arrow. Each moment points to the next; each action, decision, or indecision drives us down a new road.
We’re always moving. That’s momentum.
The phrase “I am” is deceiving, because it suggests that we exist as static beings, when in reality everything we do looks forward (or runs blindly forward, if we aren’t careful) towards who we will be in the future. We’re not at somewhere, but heading somewhere – whether intentionally or unintentionally. If we fail to live mindfully, our momentum may carry us somewhere we do not wish to go.
Controlling your momentum starts with a healthy awareness of this fact. By understanding that we all are, in a sense, speeding freight trains, able to turn but rarely able to stop entirely, we can learn and apply several important truths to our lives.
Six Lessons for Controlling Your Momentum
- The hardest part comes first. Momentum builds as you go along, so the hardest steps are usually taken at the very beginning of your journey. Think of building up a good exercise habit. The first few weeks are a torture of sore muscles, labored breathing, and feeling silly. But after those difficult first steps, the habit begins to take hold, and things get easier. Habits, good and bad, are nothing more than built-up momentum.
- Getting started sucks. But it gets a lot better afterwards. This goes right along with point number one. Of course, there are times when getting started feels like a breeze (such as when you get a burst of inspiration, for example). But more often than not, that means we haven’t come to grips with the real work involved yet. We haven’t “started” on the real journey. Is this discouraging? Maybe – but it’s also motivating to know that things will get easier once you take a deep breath and jump.
- It’s easier to keep going than to get going. Many great ambitions have been thwarted by the “Pace Yourself” mentality. Resting every now and then is important – but not nearly important as knowing when to rest. I guess this varies from person to person. If you’re a workaholic, then learning to step back will keep you from getting burned out. On the other hand, if you tend to get caught up in not working, then be wary of how often you invoke the “I need to rest so I can be more productive” excuse. Most of the time, it’s just that – an excuse to get you out of doing what you need to.
- Never underestimate the impact of little interruptions. The thing about momentum is that it can always be broken or diverted. Certain distractions are worse than others, depending on your individual tendencies. The lesson here is that we can’t be complacent, especially with good habits. Momentum makes it easier to stay the course, but it won’t steer for you.
- It’s never too late to change course. Momentum recognizes that there aren’t any absolute stopping points, only places to turn. Many of our greatest leaders were set on self-destructive courses before waking up and taking the nearest exit. There are very, very few points of no return. Of course, that doesn’t mean changing course is always easy; momentum has a way of holding you down.
- You can’t not decide. When we’re faced with difficult decisions or controversial issues, it’s tempting to abdicate the responsibility of choice. But momentum means we’re always moving, down one path or another. There’s no stopping at the fork in the road. Isn’t it better to choose your path with your eyes open, rather than looking away and hoping for the best?
A Confession
If I have a lot to say on the subject of momentum, it’s because I’m keenly aware of my failings in this area. I think about this idea constantly, because I run afoul of it constantly. I’ve made a lot of false starts and spent a lot of time walking in the wrong direction.
Some of you may relate. It’s not easy to stay in control of your momentum. The very nature of momentum means that it seeks to sweep us away to who knows where. It’s my hope that, by being aware of this battle, we have a better chance of winning it.
15 Comments on “You Better Watch Where You’re Going”
says:
I just spent 3 days reworking my website and blog because I found myself walking in the wrong direction. I am now in the dull-drums trying to find the wind for my sails. I feel like I am a long way from where I want to be. I am plagued by doubt and though I hate to admit it, I am afraid to fail, but that seems so real. Where as the goal seems like a dream. They need to switch places for a while.
I really enjoyed your take on moving forward. I tell people all the time, that it is not enough to just exist. We must all find our “why”. It's hard and it's a pain in the ass, but anything less is a life wasted.
says:
In my life, I call this inertia – an object at rest stays at rest until acted upon by an outside force. I agree that getting going is the toughest part. Once moving, the momentum builds and the ride becomes wonderful. Waiting for that outside force is foolish since I am the only one responsible for my actions. No one, no thing will get me moving except for me. Starting again after an interruption or hiatus (think of catching a flu just after you've achieved momentum in the workouts that took you months to start doing in the first place) is even worse. It's like starting over from scratch. I am aware of my own failings, too – the dreams and wishes vs. the realities, the false starts, the wrong directions, the wrong paths. Awareness is a start. We have identified the enemy. For me, the battle, and the war, will be won when I start taking action on a daily basis, overcome my inertia and gain the momentum. Thank you for another thought-provoking post, Jeffrey
says:
The thing that i like I about each moment in life being an arrow, and us being aware that this is truye, is that, when you get to a difficult place in your life you can look back and see the path of arrows pointing to were you are now. You can analyze how your momentum has carried you off track and be able to use that knowledge for later course corrections. Of course to do this you must be aware of your decision making proses and the habits you have to work against.
says:
Jeffrey, I find it helps to think of music, always playing in the background. The concepts of Allegro, or Andante, or a “rest”, never take away from the progression of the tune.
says:
Jeffrey, This is awesome. All excellent points, but I had a particularly strong reaction to your point 5, “It’s never too late to change course.” Maybe it's because I'm reading a book that deals with this matter. It's called “Change or Die” by Alan Deutschman. It's talking about changing course in a way that saves lives (two groups discussed are heart patients and convicts released from prison).
I'd be very interested in seeing more about changing one's course in future posts.
says:
I'm so glad you added the confession at the end, Jeffrey, because I was beginning to think you had this stuff licked. You pegged me with #3. I use the “need a rest” excuse when I just don't feel like working. And I'm constantly wrestling with my inner goof off who says, “take a break, put your feet up, chill.” I've gotten to the point in life where I know I'm on the right course (finally), but yeah, the momentum thing, it'll always be tough for me.
says:
Hey Jeffrey. Awesome post, as always. But, I have to ask…what's with the so-called 'wrong direction' stuff? I mean, if you hadn't spent all of that time “walking in the wrong direction,” nothing in your life would be the same as it is today. Every time I feel the urge to regret something, I remember that if I were to change one thing, it would change everything, and that forces me to get over this whole wrong path mentality. There is no wrong path, only the one path that we take. I say this as someone who struggles all the time with getting stuck or bummed out or bogged down, but I know it's true because if I were to change any small step in the past, I'd negate all of my greatest moments.
I think that the goal of staying in control of one's momentum is one of the highest aspirations in life, so long as we don't mistake our loss of control as a failure. That's part of the whole journey/destination paradox that you talked about in a past post. But I won't get into that….
Thanks always for your wisdom.
says:
The doldrums is a tough place to be. Is there any way I could give you a hand, Josh? I'd be happy to talk through some things with you if that would be helpful.
says:
Inertia is a great word, Andrew. And I know exactly, EXACTLY what you mean about those deadly interruptions. It's even worse because so many of my interruptions are self-made. Can't even blame them on contagious disease.
Here's to awareness and commitment.
says:
To me, awareness is such an important step – but it's still only the first step. Turning that awareness into action is often the hardest part for me.
says:
Haha, yet another book to add to my reading list for the new year. I think there are different “levels” of course change, if that makes sense. Some course changes are forced on us (often to our benefit), while others are more subtle and often harder to recognize.
Just thinking out loud here …
There will definitely be more on the changing course theme; it's something that I think about and wrestle with a lot.
says:
Oh man, I am so far from having this stuff licked. That “need a rest” excuse comes straight from personal (and repeated) experience. I -am- proud to say that I've made huge leaps in managing my momentum this year.
says:
Eve, you bring up a fantastic point here. It's actually something that I was thinking of as I wrote this post, but decided not to include in the final draft.
I didn't mean to give the impression that I'm ungrateful for all the “wrong directions” in which I've found myself walking. I've learned so much from screwing up, realizing it, and looking at why I ended up there. When I say “wrong,” I don't mean “irrelevant” or “worthless.” Perhaps it's better to say “not right for me in the long run.”
That's one of the curious things about momentum; watching where you're going is important, but at the same time, it's hard to predict exactly where our steps are taking us. A drug addict may waste years of his life walking down a path of self-destruction, only to stumble onto an opportunity that takes him to the height of accomplishment.
As for regret, I think that it's useful only as long as we use it to look forward. It's self-defeating to wallow in guilt and self-recriminations, but it's productive so long as we say “Okay, I messed up – now I know how to do better in the future.”
I guess what I'm trying to say, Eve, is that I agree with you – in part. Just because something doesn't turn out to be the “right path” doesn't mean it's completely wrong – especially if we learn from the experience. Sometimes I look at it as a question of probability. If I choose to do this, is it likely to take me closer to my dreams? Or is it more likely to distract me from my goals? Kind of like predicting the weather. The meteorologists are wrong a whole lot, but it's still a smart decision to keep an umbrella handy when they predict a thunderstorm.
Does that make sense?
says:
For sure. That definitely makes sense. But I guess I changed my perspective after reading “Zen and the Art of Happiness” after Jenny Blake reviewed it. The author's son was intensely addicted to drugs, I think it was heroin. He kept going back to rehab and then getting high the day he got out. And then finally, after like 20 attempts, he was able to stay clean, and he and his father (the author) opened an incredibly successful rehab clinic, I think in California. I guess my point is that all along, or even afterward, it would have been easy for him to see what he was doing as the wrong path or moving in the wrong direction, but in the end it was what helped him become fulfilled. If not for his mistakes, what would happen to the people that he's helped? I just like to think that even the wrong direction is actually the right direction, because we're still moving (because we're living). Do I sound like a cosmic hippie?
says:
Hey this is an excellent post on building and maintaining momentum. I've used some of these tips you have described here, and they do work for positive lasting results.