Some people quit smoking. Others quit drinking. Two weeks ago, I quit video games. I’ve hesitated in announcing my decision here for two reasons. First, I wanted to see if this was a resolution I was able to keep; a two-week trial run, so to speak.
Second, I wasn’t sure how people would respond. Video game addiction doesn’t sound like a big deal to most people. Drug addiction, nicotine addiction, alcohol addiction, gambling addiction – these are Serious Problems that require Serious Solutions. Video game addiction? That’s just a phase that adolescent boys grow out of eventually … right?
From personal experience, and in the interest of raising awareness, let me assure you that an addiction to computer games is still an addiction. It’s just as powerful and serious as any other vice.
Nor is it limited to adolescents and lazy college students – people from all walks of life, men and women, are beginning to feel the allure (and the ill effects) of gaming. Take, for example, the story of international tennis superstar Andy Murray, who was reportedly dumped by his girlfriend due to his video gaming obsession.
This is a longer post, but it’s a very important and personal one. If you have the time, please read it and let me know your thoughts.
The Backstory
I didn’t grow up on video games. In fact, I barely played any as a young child. It wasn’t until I got my first Game Boy when I was 11 or 12 that I really got into video games.
But the tipping point for me came during high school, when I began playing a genre of games called Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games (MMORPGs). In this type of game, players from all over the world connect to a virtual game world via the internet, playing and competing against each other in real time. You may have heard of at least one famous title from this genre – the World of Warcraft.
MMORPGs are notoriously addicting. Unlike many other games, the multiplayer aspect of MMORPGs means that there is no real end to the game. It is, quite literally, like having a second life.
Knowing this, it’s not surprising that players of MMORPGs often spend upwards of 10 hours a day playing in order to beat the competition. I know that feeling all too well; any time you’re not online is time that other people are using to get ahead of you.
Here’s a fact I’m not particularly proud of: during my freshman year of college, I played online games for approximately 12-15 hours every day. I lived on catnaps and the Wendy’s conveniently located in my dorm complex. (Strangely enough, I never resorted to energy drinks – which is something I am proud of.)
Why I Quit
I don’t believe that video games are inherently bad. Like alcohol, video games are fine in moderation, and they’re definitely entertaining. I do believe that there are questionable themes in certain games, but I also believe that it’s the responsibility of consumers and parents to be choosy in what they allow themselves and their children to play.
So I didn’t quit video games as some sort of statement against the gaming culture or industry. I quit because video games created, in my life, the wrong kind of momentum. They constantly distracted me from what I knew I really needed and wanted to do (write this blog, for instance).
And oh, the time that I wasted on games. Hours a day. More on weekends. Energy and money spent without any real return except brain-draining fun. Yeah, I still think video games are fun. If I were to go back today, I would still have a blast playing.
But I won’t.
In recent months, I’ve been taking a hard look at where I am in life, what I’ve accomplished, what I hope to accomplish, and how I plan to get from here to there. If I’m honest with myself, I know with certainty that the time and energy I spent on video games was a waste. My gaming habits constantly sabotaged my efforts to do what I dreamed of doing; I was slowly grinding myself into mediocrity with every hour and dollar I spent on my addiction.
I wasn’t willing to accept that any longer.
Some friends of mine asked: “Why don’t you just play in moderation? Limit yourself to an hour a day or only playing on weekends?”
I told them that it was a perfectly valid idea, this playing in moderation. But it wasn’t right for me. See, I’ve been trying the path of moderation in gaming for several years now. It works in principle, and I’m sure it works for many people, but it doesn’t work for me. Like any addict, when I start playing, I find it very, very difficult to stop.
Earlier this year, I finally decided that, at least when it came to video games, I am an abstainer, not a moderator. My choice was clear: either I would accept being a computer game addict for the rest of my life, or I would have to quit playing them altogether. I chose option number two.
So I’ve been video-game-free for two weeks now. Like I said, I know that a video game problem doesn’t have the same kind of gravitas as smoking, for example, but it’s been a difficult two weeks, and I can honestly say that I’m proud of myself. Which is something I don’t say to myself all that often.
The Takeaway Lessons
I’m not out of the woods yet – but forcing myself to go cold-turkey on computer games has also forced me to learn a few important lessons about breaking bad habits that I’d like to share with you.
Know your reasons for quitting. Be clear, direct, and honest with yourself about your motivations. Are you doing this because of your own convictions – or because someone else told you should? Identifying your core motivations is an incredibly powerful technique. When the going gets tough, revisiting these motivations will mean the difference between giving up and pushing forward. My reason for quitting? I had too many things I wanted to accomplish to waste my time and energy on computer games. My dreams are my motivation – that’s powerful for me.
Just because something is a good idea, doesn’t mean it’s right for you. Playing video games in moderation is a good idea. But it simply doesn’t work for me. I’ve come to realize that I used “moderation” as an excuse for playing – an excuse that never held up. However, before I could get myself out of my rut, I had to acknowledge that a “good idea” isn’t always the right idea. And it wasn’t easy; even now, as I write this, I want nothing more than to give moderation another try. That’s a temptation I have to resist.
There may be areas in your life where you’re following “good” advice that you know isn’t right for you. I challenge you to toss that “good idea” excuse out the window and choose the path that does work – even if it’s hard.
Give yourself a trial run. I actually consider not playing video games to be one of my New Year’s resolutions. Instead of waiting until January 1st, however, I decided to use the last few weeks of December as a test run to see how well I was able to keep that resolution. There are few advantages to doing this. First, it gets rid of the “I’ll wait until later (the new year)” excuse and gives me a reason to commit now.
Second, it creates a psychological buffer. Studies show that, when trying to build a good habit, missing one or two days isn’t fatal – no matter what the gurus say. What is fatal, however, is our tendency to think: I missed a day – this new habit is never going to work. I should just give up now. By taking a trial run, I give myself a chance to build good momentum and practice keeping myself video-game-free. And if I do slip up, that’s okay. It’s just a trial run – I don’t have to deal with the guilt of messing up during the main event.
Remove the temptation. Classic advice, but very effective. If I let myself sit at home in front of the computer all day, the temptation to play is very hard for me to resist. Even if I don’t give in, the mental struggle makes it difficult for me to concentrate. Instead, I make myself get up, grab my netbook, and go write somewhere outside the house. Sometimes I run into unexpected obstacles, but I find that simply being away from temptation clears my head wonderfully.
Don’t just break a bad habit – replace it. One of my biggest reasons for quitting video games was to give myself more time to do what I wanted. However, I’ve noticed that breaking my gaming habit is only half the battle. Getting rid of the games created a void in my day, and I have to be careful not to let another bad habit take up residence in that void. One of my personal commandments is break down and build up – that’s exactly what I’m putting into practice here.
Your Turn
What habits or addictions have you successfully broken? Which ones are you trying to break now or in the coming year? What tips do you have to share?
26 Comments on “How to Break a (Video Game) Addiction”
says:
Heya Jeffrey, I used to spend hours every day infront of my comp playing computer games; that was during the popularity of Counterstrike and Gunbound. It turned into an obsession where I started downloading hacks just to speed up my wins, while I looted one of my friend's account for another game (I got caught once the history feature was finally up in the game).
I broke off my addiction when I decided it was enough. What I did was to tell my friends that I stop playing games (which I did). Subsequently when I changed my comp, I stuck with Linux (there's like no way of getting games up in that OS), got me a netbook (there's no cd/dvd drive for me to install any games), and played games only with my friends at lan gaming outlets (no way for me to cheat/hack and spoil the game experience)—everything turned out fine in the end. :)
says:
Nice post! I agree that gaming addiction is not like an addiction for smoking or something like that what causes bad things for health more than gaming. Anyway playing addiction and whatever addiction is as bad as others in my point of view because it tells me that I do not control my life – instead addiction controls my life. I will be rather a driver than a car in this motorway of life :)
says:
Wow thanks for the post… I've been contemplating my own gaming addiction as the new year approaches in addition to the usual quit smoking, lose weight resolutions. It's kind of tough for me because I've gone so far as to build a gaming clan and website… with the thought that I could almost validate my gaming addiction by turning it into something that might make money. Thanks for this post, because now I realize not only am I in way over my head, but I'm also a pusher, recruiting people into guilds and getting young kids addicted as well… what everyone should realize about gaming addiction is that there is a real business behind it just like Joe Camel.
says:
Jeffrey, This is so powerful. I agree that any addiction is a big deal, and I love the “trial run” idea.
In terms of your question at the end, I can't think of any real addictions. I'm really afraid of anything that could take up a lot of time without much to show for it, which is one reason I avoided learning to play bridge in college when all my friends were playing it. It may have been from seeing deadly addiction in a family member.
says:
I broke a tv addiction. Interestingly enough, I took books and video games to replace it as both keep an active mind, but yeah 15 hours a day of anything is too much. Way to go!
says:
I almost left my husband over his Warcraft addiction 8^( I wish more people understood that video games can be taken to the same level of addiction as drugs or alcohol, and ruin lives in the same way……
says:
Hi there Jeffrey,
Very interesting topic and article. I also want to congratulate you on your two week gaming sober life :). I too am an avid fan of games, and do like the occasional MMORPG but can not say I have ever been addicted, so not sure what that feels like.
I am usually able to let go of games during an important time in my life, example during school months I usually either reduce my online gaming to only Fridays/Saturdays or no days at all which I did nicely last fall.
I should stop ranting about myself. But a nice suggestion for filling up the void might be to learn a new skill or subject. For example if you find a topic interesting, why not give yourself a few months to learn everything you can about it, a few hours everyday. Enjoy the New Years!
says:
Hi Jeffrey,
I think you make a lot of very good points in this blog, and although the fact that you have quit cold turkey is commendable, I do feel the need to say one thing.
In this post, you make the point that video game addiction is on par with any other type of addiction, which I believe is actually quite a stretch to make. If you have ever suffered through any type of chemical addiction, I do not believe you would make such a statement. Chemical addictions, including drugs, nicotine, and alcohol take far more than sheer will power to overcome. Nicotine withdrawal causes intense headaches, sleeplessness, and mood changes. Alcohol withdrawal can force its victims into deep depression. Withdrawal from hard narcotics can kill a person.
I believe that a gaming addiction can certainly be compared to something like a gambling addiction, but comparing it to a chemical addiction is hasty at best. While you make some interesting points in this latest post, I have to admit that as someone who has experienced the effects of chemical withdrawal symptoms, I was offended by what you said.
says:
All the way, Jeffrey! I'm sure you'll make it (your readers are 'watching' you ;)
I used to play lots of computer games too (I was totally into the Final Fantasy series), though not as much as you. But, good thing that I quickly realized that the time I spent on games can be better utilized elsewhere, like reading, writing and digital sketching.
I'm happy that you bit the bullet and decided to abstain from it all. That works well for me too. All the best.
says:
It's scary how quickly gaming can turn into an obsession and start influencing your decisions. I've decided to limit myself to social gaming only – that is, I'll only play if, for example, I'm at a get-together where a video game is a group activity. Other than that, off-limits for me.
says:
Be the driver, not the car – great analogy!
says:
I've built gaming forums and sites and clans before, and these things ended up tying me down more to the gaming lifestyle. It's hard to give up something that you've put time and effort into, but sometimes it's the best decision.
That being said, there's nothing wrong with making money from gaming – as long as it doesn't consume your life. That's a decision you'll have to make for yourself. Be honest with yourself!
says:
I think addiction and distraction go hand in hand. An addiction, to me, is anything that consistently distracts you from the important things in your life, anything that distorts your judgment of where to spend your time and effort. So you can be addicted to bridge, to computer games, to shopping, to money … whenever you find yourself making excuses and going against your better judgment to do something, that's a sign of looming addiction.
says:
Thanks for the encouragement! Reclaiming my time is one of the biggest reasons I decided to drop the gaming habit. We are what we repeatedly do, the saying goes, and I didn't want to be an obsessed gamer.
says:
I think the idea is slowly gaining attention. The problem is that gaming problems are still associated with adolescent boys, and aren't regarded as serious issues worth addressing. We spend a lot of time criticizing video games for their violent or sexual content (which is a concern), but I think the real danger is the amount of time and money that games consume.
My best wishes to you and your husband – don't give up!
says:
your name says it all – the conscious life – knowing what you are doing right now – no wonder they called the first gaming shops names like – In The Zone, Zoned Out, GameZone and no doubt quite a few others – playing games is a magnificent way to lose your awareness, escape from reality and avoid anything that is actually troubling you – you then create more to avoid by not being where you should have been, by not doing what someone expected you to do (like pay a bill, say happy birthday or cook dinner) and not living in the real world in the end – sounds like i know too much about this for a bystander and it is true – to underline the point someone else made about age groups and gender – i am female and 60 and have been seriously addicted to playing a word game online like scrabble but it is called lexuluous – it all started innocently enough as an occasional pastime and it ended just the same as the game gamers! – 15 hours a day with breaks for absolute essentials, ignoring critical deadlines and so on – addiction counselors would no doubt immediately understand the theme however i was not about to admit this particular addiction because it seemed so illogical – now i know better – i found this site by googling word puzzle addiction and thank you to all posts for a good read and all encouragement to those who have found their way back to a conscious life
says:
Hi Arcadia, Well-said! Yes, playing games is one way many people use to zone out and escape from the harsh reality in life. On the other hand, it's also entirely possible to play games consciously without losing your awareness. You sort of know your response to the stimulants you're receiving and you can pull the brake effortlessly whenever you feel like stopping or when the stimulants have reached an unhealthy level. But, of course, this requires a high level of awareness as well as discipline and self-control.
I think not all game playing is bad. The recent trend is games that help people to exercise or engage in more physical activities such as those on Wii. Such games may be less addictive since they tire you physically and they are great for both the young and old.
says:
I, too, started early on a goal that was important to me. Eating healthy and fitness. Two weeks before the new year I was back in the gym. I was committed to going six days a week. I would also make a point of eating breakfast every morning and bring healthy food to eat for lunch and my mid-day snacks so I wouldn't be so tempted by the junk that people bring in to share with the office. And it is junk. Sugars, processed, crap.
I have continued with this through the new year and we are already two weeks into January. I have lost 15 pounds and only missed one day in my six day regimen. I put in a minimum of two hours in each workout, four of those days I alternate upper and lower body weight training.
I must admit I did have some frustrating moments when my weight would get stuck, but I resolved to go to the gym anyway as I was forming a healthy lifestyle nonetheless. I have also had to give up on things that two hours in the gym takes away from the end of a long work day. Such as being exhausted and just relaxing with a book or a movie. I also have to make a point of making a solid dinner before leaving for the gym (I work out in the evenings) instead of grabbing what is easy and convenient.
Nobody said it would be easy. It's about creating habits and your article really made a point of making that clear. What works for one person, may not work for another. Each person has to find their own way and adjust their lifestyle to make it happen.
Good luck on your gaming addiction. You will find some really great opportunities out there that you never had before now that you have freed yourself from the monkey on your back.
Smiles,
Layne
says:
Please help..My son is 11 he is mature for his age. He doesnt want to do anything but play games.My whole family has provided him with these systems I hate now. It started w/a sega from storage at age 8, a computer at 9, then an xbox 360 and ps3 by 11. He is not into sports at all, we just moved durring summer and he has no interest in friends from his new school. Ive set parental control time limits and he hates me for it, I feel like Im losing him to these games, its all he talks & thinks about. Even when we go to the movies or something out of the house he cant wait to just get back home. I feel like he is missing out on the remaining childhood years he has left and so am I. He is always mad at me whenever he can't be on them, he even tries to eat his meals while playing, its a constant battle. What should I do? Should I take them away completly? Time limits arent doing much since he just goes to the next system.
says:
I agree with you completely, Jeffrey. Gaming addition is very real and difficult to quit. I am not an adolescent nor am I a boy (male). At 51 I got addicted to World of Warcraft, then Warhammer. These were the first ever mmos (or any video game) I had played.; but I played them hard and long. In my case, even as a grown woman, moderation was out of the question. It just didn't work. I finally quit my subscriptions Oct. 09. I have been game free since.
I do not regret the 5 years I spent gaming; it was a new adventure for me. Like you, I quit because I had other goals in my life to achieve; writing being the main one.
And Jameson, gaming can be as difficult to quit as alcohol–I have been sober now since the same Oct 09; I still crave both, but I will not go back. I will add that I believe (from personal experience) that both additions serve the same end: escape from reality.
Substitution does seem to be the best way to kick the habit. What is substituted, though, is a personal preference. I have no idea what to suggest to distract a child away from gaming; for me, though, it was shifting my focus, like Jeffery, on what I really want to do with my life.
says:
That is a great article. Breaking a video game addiction is NOT easy, I know better than most. My gaming addiction started with the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) at age 7, and I was addicted to them for twenty years. This addiction has cost me a lot, and I tried to quit several times, but I could never stay away for long.
Things finally began to change a few months ago, when my interest in gaming started to fade. I would still game, but not as much. Then one week ago, my gaming PC broke down. I really wanted to fix it, but I knew that would only lead to more gaming. So I tossed it and switched to my old laptop. I feel that I have finally broken the addiction, and when I look back at all the time I wasted on gaming, I am ashamed of myself.
says:
I have been debating whether or not I want to sell my PS3 for the past week… Your article just gave me the nudge to go ahead and sell it. I am not a video game freak and I certainly don’t spend 10hrs a day (I don’t think I ever have either), but video games do waste alot of my time. Time that I would like to be spending on more beneficial and rewarding projects/hobbies. Video games are a hell of alot of fun, but when it comes down to it they just dont produce any real return as you say. Good bye video games, we had a blast.
says:
i guess ih ave the same addction =\ i was getting off them slowly…until my brithdya cvame and my brother got me a vdeo game. after i told him specifically and loudly that i didnt want one!
anyways i guess the best way to get rid of it, is to dispose of the game. sell it or somethin
thanks for postin this.
says:
To the person that was offended by the author’s comparsion of gaming addiction and hard drugs: ease off.
I was addicted to a hard drug and recovered. Yes there are your body chemicals that make your life hell for a little bit but I think in general, if your will is strong enough and believe me, this is what stubborness is made of so just admit it already; it generally takes only 3 days and maybe some medication to overcome for most drugs withdrawal symtoms to subside (except alcohol I believe is a bit more severe.)
It’s the psychologically dependency that I believe the author was referring that game addiction has in common with drug addiction. This is what I believe is the tougher of the two to overcome in regards to battling the body addiction versus mind addiction.
The void, the changing of habitual entertainment and being honest to self with awareness of what one is doing when are concepts I think are fundamental in rehabiliting oneself for any type of addiction. I am glad this blog was here for me to read as I am trying to rid myself of a 10 year gaming addiction to fortify my will and solidfy my awareness of what to do.
One thing that Jeff hasn’t mentioned is that procrastination can also be one of the reasons why gaming is so attractive to people (and me in particular.) My real life is a mess atm and thinking about putting it straight is overwhelming and scary. Farming an item or gaining a level instead of doing something production irl is so much easier and retains my sense of worthiness….is something I have come to realize. Knowing this, I am able to reprioritize the need to log on.
Thank you Jeff, your post was good for me. Wish me luck in surviving day one of abstainence in lieu of real life productivity.
says:
Oh, I just read Swalker3061’s plea of help in trying to limit his/her’s 11-year-old son’s gaming hours. Gaming addiction reaches all platforms, it is irrelevant which one your son’s flavor of the month is.
Your son doesn’t know how lucky he is to have a parent that is aware and concerned with the downfalls of gaming addiction.
There are specifc ways to handle a child that is inherently different than dealing with an adult. Kids’ views tend to be tunnel vision and you have to learn to talk in their terms or try to widen their vision. Your son lacks the foresight and adult experience that you are trying to guide him with, do not give up the parental guidance for your son.
My advice is to look for support from a professional child counselor or psychologist how to deal with your son. If one professional’s methods do not work, try another. There are many ways to solve a problem and finding a solution that fits your situation may take more than one professional’s advice and it may take you to create a mutated solution of several methods to make it work.
My friend had parents that put limits on his gaming habits when he was young and as an adult, he practices those same limits and does not allow it to interfere with his adult responsibilities and is quite successful in life. I was pretty awed to see this. After a few hours of gaming with him he’d say “Time for a break…I need to go outside and run” or “I need to go outside and ride my bike, I’ve been online too long.” I believe that was an example of his parents instillation of limiting his game play even though he no longer lived with them.
G’luck in your parentage. Unfortunately, kids do not come with a personal manual how to operate or care otherwise parenting would be so easy. :p
I salute you in the love you have shown for your child. Keep at it, he’ll thank you later. :)
Sara