The central question of my life: How will I be remembered?
On some level, this isn’t a question I can fully answer; it’ll be up to everyone who outlives me (a little scary, when I think too hard about it). But while I can’t control what other people think about me, I can control the raw material I give them to work with. I can control what I try, where I spend my time, what I share.
And here’s another obstacle.
When we talk about our goals, we can usually come up with something reasonably concrete:
- I want to make a million dollars.
- I want to live with 100 things (or less).
- I want to write a bestselling novel.
- I want to found a charity.
These goals may take years to achieve, but they give you something concrete to aim at. It’s possible to turn these goals into action. But when we talk about legacy, on the other hand, we tend to paint some pretty abstract pictures:
- I want to be remembered as a good father or mother.
- I want to be remembered as a great humanitarian
- I want to be remembered as a genius.
Why do we describe legacy in such vague terms? I’m not sure. Perhaps it’s because legacy requires us to think outside of ourselves and imagine what other people will say about us in the future. Either way, we ought to spend a little more time thinking about the big pictures of our lives and how we translate them into What am I going to do today?
We start with a general outline or even nothing more than a feeling, then we gradually fill in the lines and colors as we move through life. That requires of us a steady mindfulness.
So today, I invite you to share what you want your legacy to be – or, if you’re not sure yet, what the outlines of that legacy look like. What do you want people to say about you in 10 years? 30 years? When you’re gone?
Here are my answers:
- I’d like to be remembered as a thought leader, particularly in the fields of learning, teaching, and entrepreneurship.
- I’d like to be remembered as a great writer.
- I’d like to be remembered as someone who didn’t compromise on things he truly believed in.
- I’d like to be remembered as someone who helped change the course of history.
Pretty ambitious, I know. How am I going to get from here to there? Honestly, I’m not sure yet. But that’s okay. And it’s okay if you’re not sure either. We’ll figure it out together.
Share away!
47 Comments on “A Question of Legacy”
says:
I had an interesting conversation with one of my readers this morning about this, kind of. She was wondering if I was ever afraid of hitting the publish button. I hadn't thought about it like that, but it's true, sometimes hitting the publish button is scary.
This however, led me to a quite different outcome.
I hit the publish button because I don't want to be forgotten. I can't stand the idea of sitting in this room, or this coffee shop, with my ideas stuck inside my head.
The legacy is the ideas.
I'm sure it's the same for anyone who braves the dangerous waters of the internet in an effort to spread good ideas.
The ideas keep me hitting the publish button.
says:
I think it is great that you know how you want to be remembered. Starting with the end in mind is a great way to spur actions that results in that vision.
I do think legacy is very important to keep in mind, but doesn't it just seem so morbid? I keep picturing myself looking down at my on funeral, trying to hear what people are saying about me! Which isn't necessarily a bad thing to keep in mind, but we probably shouldn't over-dwell on it either.
says:
I'm afraid but want to ask you: What is it that drives you to leave a legacy on earth? Is it fear or is it love? Why do you need to be remembered? What difference will it make? I'm not hating, I just want to see your true desires to come up ;)
It really might be that a vision of your future legacy will improve your impact on the world today greatly. Maybe that's the way people like M.L.King were “born”.
says:
I think the way to defuse the vagary of legacy issues is by after saying what they are we should go in and define what our answer means to us.
As far as my legacy I want to leave the world a better place for as many people as I can. I want to do that through education, and helping to connect the people with ideas with the people with the power to make those ideas happen.
says:
“The ideas keep me hitting the publish button.” Love that phrase. Can I steal it?
But I know what you mean, Everett. Ideas are so powerful when they catch on, but so fragile when they're kept hidden.
I guess one way to define legacy is the sum of all the ideas you've shared that can be traced back to you? (Or perhaps, even if they can't?)
says:
Haha, it is a bit morbid at times, I'll admit – hence the “little scary” in the second paragraph. I agree that it's counterproductive to overdwell on legacy, or anything in the far future, for that matter – but it's one way for me to consider where my little steps are taking me, and how I want to tie them all together.
says:
I don't see why you should be afraid to ask, Michael :)
To be honest, the question of why is something I struggle with a lot. Will it really matter whether I'm remembered or not, once I'm gone? Perhaps the thought of being remembered is comforting while I'm here, but what about afterwards? Am I approaching the idea of legacy constructively (changing the world for the better) or negatively (out of fear of oblivion)?
I don't have the answers, really. All I can say for sure is that being remembered is important to me, perhaps for a combination of reasons that will become clearer as time goes on. For now, I'm just accepting my drive for legacy “as is,” and working on discovering what that legacy might be.
Thanks for asking! Does that make sense?
says:
Connecting people and ideas – wonderful! That's actually very much in line with what I'm working on :)
says:
You're welcome to steal my ideas at any time Jeffrey. I license them under creative commons. ;)
says:
Check Twitter ;-)
says:
That is a really astute observation. We make a lot of our wishes so nebulous that it's hard to think about how to work towards them.
I want to be remembered as a good writer, and as someone who challenged people to see the world differently and take fewer things and ideas for granted.
I want to be remembered as someone brave enough to pursue what she believed in even when it was hard.
I want to be remebered for having created something useful and lasting.
says:
The reason most people have such a general answer to “what do I want my legacy to be?” is that most grandly memorable achievements are the work of many people working together. The work is the legacy of all of them, but no one person can point to the work and say “I did this.”
Consider what it was like living in the 1920s and '30s when there was still polio. People losing the ability to walk was a part of everyone's daily world in a way that someone born after widespread adoption of the vaccine can understand conceptually, but lack the reality of having lived it.
“What parts of the world today would you like our grandchildren's generation to only understand in theory?” gets at the same underlying themes as the legacy question, but leaves more room for being part of something larger.
says:
sure it does!
I like you being honest. It's definitely empowering to work on something what will have a great impact afterwards. As long as you love what you do that's the best thing you can do. It's very philosophical to think about the topic of legacy because someday everything will be gone. We shouldn't be attached too much to anything out there. Life goes on :)
I would consider to be egoistic at first. What approach to life does serve you better? What makes you more happier? That's what you've said: You feel the importance to be remembered, what leads to creative output that's outstanding and worth remembering. I think this could make you happy.
Later on there is the second stage of constructive legacy (like you said!) on which you decide if your work really changes the world for the better. But if you focus first on the second stage you could end up being unhappy just because of fulfilling the need of “legacy” instead of your need of joy first.
Does THAT make sense? :P
Thank you for bringing up this question, it's really worth to think about. In the end if you gonna improve your results and stay happy, you've done it right, don't you?
says:
your legacy is the whole picture in the end, but your life is build by one puzzle piece at a time. The puzzle pieces should bring joy, the overall picture therefor fulfillment. What do you think?
says:
It makes a lot of sense, Michael. I strongly believe that it's impossible to
change the world for the better without first getting your own head
straight.
We throw around the word “selfless” too loosely, I think. The self is the
source, and you have to honor that. I believe it was Larry Winget that said,
“It's possible to give so much of yourself away that you compromise the
quality of what you have to give.” By no means are we called to ignore
everyone else – but you can't say “I care” or “I love” without first
learning to say the “I.” (That's Ayn Rand, by the way)
I'm just full of quotes today. I feel smart ;-)
Constructive legacy … that's a good phrase. I'll have to remember that.
Thanks, Michael!
says:
I think the puzzle analogy is fantastic. One quibble, though: some puzzle
pieces aren't really joyful, and that's fine. Sometimes work sucks, even
when it's work you love. But the more you build, the clearer the picture
gets – and that's where the happiness lingers.
says:
I've always had and urge to “create something that's never been created before, which will be used by many generations to come”
those exact words have been with me since I was 15yrs old. I live each day driven by them. Thanks for this post
says:
I just like to be remembered.
says:
In creating a legacy it might help to know who your beneficiary is, and I'm cheating a bit by focusing right down to a captive audience. My legacy will be for my son, who I hope will remember his childhood as a warm and happy one, and his mom as someone who was there for him but who wouldn't hesitate to give him what for if he needed it. That seems worthwhile, like laying down a healthy tilth for good things to grow on. Oh – and potentially for a wider unknown audience – I'd quite like to write a book, if only to make the half-formed paragraphs currently going bla bla bla bla bla in my head shut up :)
says:
I want to be remembered as someone who made people happier just by being in their presence. Not exactly being “the funny one” or anything to that extent, but there are those people who you like being around because of who they are at their core; it's sort of an effortless joy they share.
says:
I would like my legacy to be to the UNIVERSE! This of course sounds broad but it really isn't. Every day we touch 100 beings we will never meet – through the being who serves our coffee in the morning, to the UPS gent that picks up packages where we work, to the moment when we are most harried that we STOP and listen to a child's view of their day . I want my legacy not to be a “Listing” of__________________ (fill in the blank) – but I want my legacy to focus on two words: “She TRIED” She ALWAYS TRIED! I think that one of the things we often overlook is how much everything we do matters – EVERYTHING does and it is a huge weight but one worth holding and just by embracing this “weight” we build our legacy – not a bullet-point list but soul by soul. It isn't enough to “be remembered” – I want to know that “I touched beings in the best way THEY needed, in the best way I could> that is legacy to me!
says:
This was a cool post Jeffrey…In contemplating my legacy, I'd say this:
1. Hero to my posterity
2. Thought leader and innovator for small businesses
I know it's short, but that's the plan.
says:
I absolutely LOVE this post. It stopped me in my tracks. That is the essential question isn't it? What are we put here to do, to contribute, what is our life's purpose? We can go through life with our heads in the sand “doing”, or we can actively “choose” to do our life's purpose.
I'd like to be remembered as someone who did not compromise her beliefs or values in the face of adversity.
I want to be remembered by my children as someone who followed her dream/s when no one else thought she could do it. I want to be remembered by them who stared fear in the face and took the steps forward anyway.
says:
The question of legacy comes up almost daily, both in my own mind and as well in the counseling work I do for a living. I find that this is always a hard question to answer. I have some ideas of the kind of things I would like to be remembered for, granted it is more in the realm of abstract. I feel that when you look too far into the abstract it can become an ego trip. To me that does not feel right, I don’t want to be remembered as saving the world, but I do want to be remembered. What does feel right to me is the way that it was presented in this post. What I would like to be remembered for. It seems to take away the ego and offer an avenue of attempt and desire to work towards this. To that end, these are my hopes for a legacy;
I want to be remembered as someone who always knew who I was and didn’t compromise that for any reason.
I want to be remembered as being a hard worker both in my job and in my life.
I want to be remembered as being good to my family.
While it is important to think about what one’s lasting legacy will be I feel that it is important to look at it as a small goal as well, a daily legacy. Every night as I drift off to sleep I always ask myself if I did something today that changed the direction of my life for the good. Unfortunately in the last few weeks when I look at one aspect of my life I have to say no, mostly in my job and the current client base I am working with. But overall when I look back at my day I feel that I have changed for the positive. To me, that is the legacy that I want to leave behind, positive change and movement towards a brighter future, one day at a time.
says:
It sounds like we have a lot of values in common, even if we may apply those values in different fields.
says:
True, grand achievements often involve the work of many people, but even in team projects there are usually leaders, people who become associated with the success of that project and for whom the project becomes part of their legacy.
Or, consider the author of a bestselling series of books. He or she may be the one to write the words, but any number of teachers, mentors, friends, editors, agents, promoters, executives, reviewers, and fans also play a part in making that series possible (and successful). Whose legacy is it?
says:
To be innovative -and- memorable … that's a tall order. But any good legacy has to be ambitious, I think :) Go for it!
I like how you've distilled your dream into a few simple phrases. Do you think that makes it easier for you to move forward and understand what it is you want to accomplish?
says:
Is there anything in particular you'd most like to be remembered for? Or anyone in particular you'd like to be remembered by?
says:
Absolutely, Helen – knowing who your beneficiary is enormously helpful. Your son is a lucky boy :)
My audience is something that I'm still trying to define for myself. Can I get more specific than just “people” or “the world at large”? I don't know yet, but that's part of the adventure, yeah?
I've got quite a few of those half-formed paragraphs bouncing around in my head too. What kind of book are you thinking of? Fiction? Non-fiction? Epic poetry?
says:
I've met only a few people like that in my lifetime, and even fewer who are able to build that kind of presence online. I think you have a fantastic goal.
says:
You know what? I think that's a great way to approach it, and it's one that I've often thought about myself. It's so hard to be constantly mindful of what we're doing, what we're sharing, and who we're touching with our lives, but it's true that sometimes a collection of little, mostly unconnected actions can become a legacy as well.
Thank you so much for sharing.
says:
Nothing wrong with short, Marcus. Simple is a great place to start (and a great place to end, for that matter). I'm interested in small business as well. What areas of small business would you like to explore or change?
says:
I think it's great that you have a clearly defined audience for your legacy, Michele.
For me, the great challenge is finding a way to balance the daily “doing” with the big picture planning. Too much doing causes us to lose our sense of purpose; too much planning paralyzes us. It's on that razor edge between the two that meaning gets created – and, as you say, it's by actively choosing our life's purpose that we find that edge.
Choosing not to compromise is so difficult, isn't it? The hardest challenges don't come from people who blatantly disagree with you or attack you directly; the hardest challenges come from the little mistakes, the “oh, that's not a big deal” thinking, the soothing slide backwards … it's a tough path we've chosen to walk.
Thank you for sharing, Michele.
says:
A daily legacy … I like that idea. Something for me to think about this weekend – thank you.
A question: how do you define who you are? Another simple, yet difficult to answer question that I think about every day. I'd love to hear your insights on that.
says:
I'm all about helping the good old, blue collar small biz owner embrace web/sales/marketing 2.0. I want to help these men and women understand the need to stop turning their websites and marketing over to 'professionals' and start tackling the most important part of their business themselves. I want them to understand that no one knows their business and their consumer like they themselves do….In short, I just want them to see just how capable they truly are.
says:
Excellent post, Jeff. You're right that thoughts about one's legacy tend to be more abstract than one's goals, at least if one's goals are properly formulated (concrete, etc.) Just as with goals, I also think it's important that it is healthier (and ultimately more productive) to consider one's legacy in many different contexts — family (dynastic), contribution (world-historic), connection (community and polity), and so on.
One point that I made in a post on my blog today, about success, is that the question of what success means to one's self is in many respects at least as important as the answer one provides. The point is to make the inquiry and follow through on where it leads. The same is true for legacy.
So what are my personal intentions about my legacy? At this point in my life I want to be known as someone who was a great friend and father; one who achieved flow in his life often and facilitated others in finding their flow; one who made firm, demonstrable contributions through public service to his local, state, national, and international communities; and, ultimately, one was willing to look back at his life willing to re-live every moment of it, the good and the bad, time after time, eternally. – Ted
says:
Breaking up your legacy into parts (how will I contribute to or be
remembered by people in a particular context) is a good idea, Ted – thanks
for sharing it!
And you're right: asking the question is often just as important as finding
the answer. In some ways, the asking and the answering are simply extensions
of the same process.
I recently read a book called Sum: 40 Tales from the Afterlives, in which
the author collects 40 short stories, each with a different interpretation
of the afterlife and how it affects the meaning of our lives here on earth.
One of the stories reminds me of what you say about reliving each moment of
your life eternally – you might enjoy reading the book :)
says:
Jeff, I will read Sum. Thanks for suggesting it.
My definition of success is analogous to Nietzsche's eternal return, which I
was first exposed to in college. I have a quote from him in my post about
success: I don't like to clutter up others' blog comments with links to
mine, but here's a tinyurl – *http://tinyurl.com/yeyg247.
*The research is very clear that having goals and a sense of purpose are of
enormous value in stimulating achievement and increasing the likelihood of
personal satisfaction, but there is surprisingly little rigorous,
peer-reviewed findings about how to identify one's purpose (assuming that
one can). This is, for me, the difficult thing about personal development
– all too often there is a surplus of happy talk and anecdote and
insufficient hard-data support.
says:
I'm with you on the hard data piece, though I'm not sure how best to find
and measure personal development data. I believe that there must be a common
thread of measurable truth to personal development, but it may not be
something we're close to discovering.
In lieu of truly scientific data, I can only share my opinions and
experiences – “what works for me” – authentic, even if they are but
anecdotes. On the other hand, there's definitely power in sharing from
experience rather than simply pointing to data. My solution, at least for
now, is to live my life to the best of my ability, to test my ideas and
values, then share what happens.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts – and keeping me honest :)
says:
Jeff,
No doubt there is much wisdom out there, even if it has not been subjected
to peer review. There is a solid place for that. I really enjoy what you
are doing, and was not in any way placing you in the “happy-talk” category.
I'm trying to develop advice for skeptical aspiring lawyers and others who
demand, and rigorously challenge, evidence. That makes the stakes
different, though the objective is the same.
Ted
says:
Just so happens that I was reading Seth Godin's Linchpin today and came
across this passage:
“
says:
Excellent thought.
says:
Wow, Jeffrey, I’ve just been thinking about this. Gotta love serendipity!
I would like it said that:
I laughed heartily.
Loved unabashedly.
Was loved by children.
My life’s work assisted others to love and enjoy being on this magnificent planet more!
Thanks for posing the question!
says:
Jeffrey,
I love another question I see you posed in a response: How do you define who you are?
I would say by the amount of love in my life (which includes the love I give as well as receive).
How do you define who you are?