The fewer rules you have for yourself and others, the better.
Rules and regulations are substitutes for trust: trust in someone’s goodwill, trust in someone’s competence, trust in someone’s commitment. The more a parent distrusts her child, the more rules she makes. The more a government distrusts its citizens, the more laws it imposes.
Rules can be useful, but they should be like the struts of a framework: simple, strong, and few.
At work, I fight hard to keep myself from trying to solve problems by making rules for my team. Draconian management only serves to make employees unhappy and managers annoyed. Write simple rules, enforce them strictly, and leave the rest alone. Better to get rid of a non-cooperative team member than to spread the burden to everyone else.
At home, I have a few simple rules that govern most of my life. When it comes to productivity, I trust myself to fill in the gaps and get things to work out. Through trial and error, I’ve discovered that trying to follow a rigid set of personal rules just stresses me out; it doesn’t actually bring better results.
The ability to do great work doesn’t come from imposing a thousand strict rules on your own life – it comes from paring down your complicated system and replacing it with self-confidence and creative freedom.
Do you trust yourself? Your family and friends? Your co-workers and colleagues? Or are you trying to hide behind a list of rules?
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
I completely agree with “…trying to follow a rigid set of personal rules just stresses me out; it doesn’t actually bring better results.”
We need to leave that window of flexibility open in order to really thrive and improve. Great post, Jeffrey. :)
I like to think of it as a window too, Omar. Some rules are helpful and help you define the window, others go too far and just get your frustrated when you can't adhere to all of them at once.
I think that limiting the rules we have in our life is important as long as we are able to trust ourselves. Some times there are areas of our life were we have proven an inability to instinctively act in a proper manner.
In these areas of life it is important that we create mental structures built of rules and habits that alow us to behave the way we want to rather then the way we tend to. I think that once we have trained our personality to conform to our new expected standard those rules can be relaxed and removed but like training wheels they are needed for a time
I agree with you on the need for stucture, Quinn. That being said, the
mental structures that we build have to be light and flexible enough to
allow us to experiment and make changes. Otherwise, we just build walls for
ourselves.
I agree. There are way too many rules when it comes to pretty much everything. Most of the rules we've created end up holding us back from trying new things and experimenting with life, which in a way completely stops us from evolving and trying new things. The way I look at it, life is a big experiment and we might as well try everything :)
I think this recommendation is right on point. Great insight. At some point we have to trust ourselves and those people around us to do the right thing. There is something to be said about expecting the best out of people and giving them the freedom to make the right decisions. Things just seem to work better that way rather than micromanaging them and forcing them to abide by your rules and regulations.
Life is indeed a big experiment. I think that's one of the most liberating
truths – it's more about trying different things and less about attempting
to figure everything out ahead of time.
I agree, Sibyl. Micromanagement just frustrates people and makes them feel
insignificant. If we truly believe the best about ourselves and the best
about others, we have to show it by giving them the freedom to work on their
own terms.
Of course, there's a difference between “rules” and “tools”. While I certainly trust most people's intentions, I have a certain amount of personal experience with my own human fallibility.
A checklist, a process, a procedure, when used as a tool–a way to increase performance and reliability–can enhance trust.
When used as a rule–a reason to punish or reward–it can have the opposite effect.
For examples of the first, see Atul Gawande's The Checklist Manifesto.
For examples of the second, see California government and the ballot initiative process.
Great point, David. As you say, I think we can draw a distinction between
rules used to keep everyone on the same page and rules put into place purely
as forms of extra control.
The checklist manifesto is actually on my reading list!