Just because something is legal, ethical, and successful doesn’t mean it’s the right thing for you.
The test is whether or not you would be proud to explain to someone else what it is you do. By explain, I mean revealing the nuts and bolts of what you do every day – no sugarcoating, no overblown corporate job descriptions, no hedging or spin-doctoring.
How would you feel? Would you be proud to show off your work? Would you be proud of your legacy?
If not, why? Are you on the wrong path, or are you buying into popular criticism of a remarkable lifestyle?
There are two potential problems here: first, that you settle for a respectable, cushy job of which you’re secretly ashamed; and second, that you allow social pressure to make you ashamed without reason.
If you’re genuinely happy working a respectable, cushy, “normal” job, then don’t let me or anyone else tell you otherwise.
And if you’re happy pursuing an unconventional lifestyle, don’t let the weight of social norms drag you into hiding. Don’t let other people talk down to you – and more importantly, don’t talk down to yourself. I’ve often caught myself saying things like this:
- I know doing great things sounds cheesy, but…
- I write a little blog called the Art of Great Things…
- Sorry, I’m just starting out…
Yes, there’s a fine line between pride and hubris, and many of us are careful not to cross it. But there’s an even fine liner between humility and self-flagellation, which we seem to cross daily. And the more often you cross that line, the more you get accustomed to holding yourself down. Compare the embarrassed, apologetic statements above with these:
- I’m working on making a great impact in the world.
- I write a blog called the Art of Great Things.
- I started recently, but that’s not going to hold me back.
They say that pride comes before a fall. But if you’ve got nowhere left to fall, isn’t that the same as hitting rock bottom?
Great work isn’t cheesy or little or immature or impossible or falsely humble. If it’s truly your great work, then it’s you at your best, and you should be unapologetically proud of it.
On the other hand, if the pride isn’t there and the work doesn’t feel like you, ask yourself why, then work on fixing it.
Follow your pride. Embrace the opportunity of uncertainty. Where does it lead you?
***
A few more things to think about today:
On the Art of Non-Conformity, Chris Guillebeau asks: what would it take for you to walk away from your dreams?
On mnmlist, Leo Babauta asks: what if we could break out of being passive consumers and become creators, sharers, empowerers?
On Awake @ the Wheel, Jonathan Fields asks: how do you know when to build it and simply trust they will come?
13 Comments on “On Following Your Pride”
says:
I think what we need to understand is the line between having pride and be egotistical. Egotism comes in when we feel we need to boast about what we have done while demeaning the accomplishments of others. This usually comes from a lack of pride in what we do. So lacking the inner feeling of pride we search for it outside our selves. The solution is to find something we can do to be proud of as you have pointed out.
says:
Exactly, Quinn. Pride needs to come solely from doing great work, not from undercutting the work of others, however tempting that may be at times. Pride should be an expression of what we love about our work, not an expression of our jealousy towards others’ work.
says:
Pretty cool Jeffrey. I agree that we should be proud of what we’re doing, even though it might be something completely different from the social norm. If we’re doing something that has an actual contribution to the world, as the many great people before us, then I think it should be something that we should follow.
Oh yeah, I just wanted to add that I like how you separated pride a hubris – big difference. We can be pride in what we do, but we have to make sure that pride doesn’t make us feel like we’re above others, because that’s when we realize that we have hit rock bottom. Thanks man.
says:
In my opinion, the way we’re taught to hide our pride and always hide behind self-effacing statements is a terrible thing. Why should we have to silence the rush of accomplishment or success? That’s a great example of a social norm that ought to be challenged. If you’re genuinely proud of something you’ve done, don’t hide it!
says:
Yep, pride and being delusional are my all-time favorites.
I have banned negative self-talk a loooong time ago. That’s why I invented an alter ego that feeds me with daily megalomaniac thoughts -and it’s working !
Over 80 billion died on our beloved planet; we will too.
Before the light turns off for good, leave a legacy that’s inspiring.
says:
Speaking of megalomania – have you read Chris Guillebeau’s World Domination Manifesto? If not, give it a try. I bet you’d enjoy it.
says:
Great post. I really liked your recommendation to embrace the opportunity of uncertainty that Amber Rae described in her post. You both made great points because the reality is that we can easily become intimidated by uncertainty. It seems understandable that we all want to know what is coming next and even more understandable that we may become uncomfortable when we don’t. But, we really do just have to push ourselves beyond our comfort zone. It is the only way we grow and really set things up so that life can unfold.
says:
Uncertainty can either be a great motivator or a great demotivator – it just depends on how you approach it. If you see uncertainty as something that needs to be eliminated, planned away, swept under the rug, then it will haunt you and hold you back.
On the other hand, if you see uncertainty as one facet of opportunity, if you take pride in stepping forward and finding the path as you go, then uncertainty becomes your advantage, because you’re willing to go where others fear to tread. :)
says:
Love it. I went through this a couple weeks ago at a networking event.
For the first time I introduced myself confidently as “a blogger.”
Yes, I still have my full-time job, and yes, my blog is on the newer side. But if I don’t believe I’m a blogger, or if I feel like I have to be ashamed of what I want to become, then I’ve got no shot.
says:
I loved the rewritten bullets. LOVED.
Have a good weekend!
says:
Jeffrey, very thought provoking post. Why do we put ourselves/projects down when people ask us what we’re doing? I was raised to think anything I said about myself was bragging, and very unlady-like. It’s a hard habit to get over, but an important step in our growth. To be respected we must first respect ourselves.
says:
I really like your idea, but I would disagree with the wording. There’s a difference between pride and confidence. I subscribe to the older definition of pride as being an inordinate opinion of one’s importance or an unduly high opinion of oneself. Pride is more than simply feeling self-respect and having a healthy sense of self-worth.
That nitpicking having been said, I still agree with the message of your post! It’s very true, and I would say that it would probably be good and healthy for us to regularly re-assess what we’re doing to see if our lives contain things that we would be ashamed to admit.
says:
Hi Jeffrey, I absolutely agree with this post. However, it does get complicated for some of us. Maybe it’s as Angela says about being raised to think that it was unlady-like (or bragging) to talk about herself confidently when people asked what she was doing.
Even now in the 21st century, sometimes in social situations people don’t ask me what I do. (They ask my BF but not me.) I guess they think I don’t do much of anything. I have plenty of pride and competence and confidence, but I’m still trying to figure how how to deal with this. Any ideas?