When you notice something becoming a constant distraction or taking up too much time and energy in your life, how do you deal with it?
Say you’re crazy about chocolate, but you know that you can’t keep eating several bars of it a day. What’s your plan of action?
You might be an “everything in moderation” sort of person, which means you decide to eat chocolate only once a week instead of every day. You’re okay with the occasional indulgence, because it rewards you for being chocolate-free the rest of the week. Eating chocolate once in a while makes it easier for you to resist eating it all the time.
Me, I’m not an “everything in moderation” kind of guy. I wish I was – but I’m not. It’s just not in my genetic makeup. It’s all or nothing for me: if I let myself eat a little chocolate (metaphorically speaking), I almost always fall back into my old chocolate-guzzling ways. If I want to stop eating so much chocolate, I have to stay away from it altogether.
No chocolate, no temptation. All or nothing.
Which Kind of Person Are You?
If you’re having a hard time kicking a bad habit or limiting distractions through moderation, you might be an all or nothing person too. You might need to eliminate temptation, instead of taming it. That’s not a bad thing. It doesn’t mean you’re weak.
I like to think of it as making space. Life is like a closet – it only has room for so many activities. If you fill that room with TV, you won’t have enough space for writing. If you fill it with video games, you won’t have enough space for exercise.
When something becomes a distraction, when something starts taking up too much space in your life, you don’t just shove it into a corner and “moderate” how much space it consumes. You take it out and throw it away. You clear the space. You reformat your computer or delete your computer games. You give your chocolate away. You cut up the credit cards.
The First Step
The tricky thing about making space is that it’s only the first step.
When you remove a distraction or a temptation, you leave a void in its place – a void of time, or energy, or money. Nature abhors a vacuum, so if you clear space without filling it back up with something worthwhile, new distractions will creep in. It’s like clearing out a closet without any sort of plan for being better organized in the future.
When I quit video games, I created a lot of space in my life. I managed to fill some of that space with meaningful work: writing this blog, connecting with friends and mentors, learning new ways to improve my workplace.
But over time I got careless, and I let new distractions creep in. Instead of wasting time on video games, I wasted it online or in front of the TV. In terms of great work, I ended up pretty much where I started.
So once again I’m making space. I’ve blocked my own access to my favorite time-wasting websites; I’m steeling myself to take the leap to no-TV living. At the same time, I’m developing better work routines to fill in the time I’m freeing up.
Quick Wrap-Up
If you can’t seem to get an “everything in moderation” lifestyle working for you, it’s time to face reality and admit that you’re an all-or-nothing person.
Look for ways to eliminate distractions and temptations entirely, instead of limiting them. It may hurt a little more in the short-term, but it’s easier to stick with your resolutions over time.
As you make space in your life by clearing distractions and temptations, also be looking for ways to fill up the new space with activities and things you value. Don’t just empty the closet; design ways to keep it neat in the future too.
24 Comments on “Making Space, Eliminating Distractions”
says:
Love that last line – “Don’t just empty the closet; design ways to keep it neat in the future too.”
We deep cleaned our closet about 6 months ago and all the mess has returned. Actually, the video game thing has happened to me too – gave it up for the whole “Lent” thing, and now they’re back, taking up too much of my time.
I was super productive for those few weeks without video games and I never should have gone back to them. Plants vs. Zombies has definitely taken hours and hours away from me while I complain about not having time to focus on the things I’m passionate about.
Thanks for the much-needed wake up call.
says:
The idea of Lent always bothered me a little bit – not for any religious reasons, but because it seemed that people would spend a month ridding themselves of one bad habit, then happily wash all that effort down the drain as soon as the month ended. Strikes me as a bit of a waste, to be honest.
It’s always a battle to stay away from things that I know will distract me – but at least taking the all-or-nothing approach makes it easier!
says:
I am exactly the kind of person you’re describing: all or nothing. I (try to) use exactly the kind of strategy you’re outlining: wholesale annihilation of undesired behaviors. I’m reminded of a quote that I constantly use to steer my life, “It’s easier to change your environment than to change your behavior.” I’m not sure who said it originally, or even if anyone ever did say it exactly like that. I was introduced to the concept in the context of personal finance by Ramit Sethi in his blog/book “I Will Teach You To Be Rich.” For me, it’s been the most effective way to free time and produce the results I desire.
says:
“It’s easier to change your environment than to change your behavior.” True! I’ve actually seen this bit of wisdom in a new light after reading Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard. In the same way that our personal bad habits are often the result of environmental factors, not just weak willpower, the problems we see in other people and in the world are often due to context, rather than content, if that makes sense.
says:
Hi Jeffrey – I feel like I’ve done the same thing – gave up watching TV and now I fritter my free time away on Twitter and Facebook.
Matt Chevy gave me a great tip: read more books.
He’s right. I always get the best ideas for my blog when I take a break from the blogging/social networking world.
Have a great week!
says:
Yin and yang – where you make space, there you must provide something to take its place.
Speaking of books, I’m currently reading The Gargoyle, by Andrew Davidson. Graphic, but poetic at the same time. What are you reading?
says:
I’m reading A Million Miles in a Thousand Years currently. ;-)
says:
Hi Jeffrey, interesting article. I like the concept of all or nothing because I don’t like doing things halfway and not finishing. Like I hate the situation of being tempted, meaning if I ate a chocolate bar, I want to finish the whole thing or if I start a video game, I want to finish playing the game. Being in the halfway point for me is distracting. I think one might as well spend most of their energy focusing on something productive, or something that’s going to help them reach their goals.
says:
I know the feeling of being halfway there and wanting to finish all too well. When I spent time playing video games, I’d resolve to play for only an hour. The problem was, when my hour was up, I’d be halfway through the next stage of the game, and I couldn’t bring myself to turn it off. A slippery slope!
So it’s all or nothing for me now too :)
says:
Hi Jeffrey,
Great topic – a moderate or extremist? ;-) . Oddly, I fall into both categories! It depends upon what it is. I especially love the chocolate topic…I found a great solution to that one – raw chocolate with macadamias. Health and delicious! Ah, but I digress, the topic really isn’t about chocolate is it?
It’s interesting that you mention TV. I have never been much for TV and for most of my adult life have never even had one except to watch movies with a video. A year or so, though, I did get a nice flat screen.
I found myself glued to American Idol and then America’s Got Talent (yes, I can humble myself and admit this!). I even discovered wanting to end my dinner dates with friends on these evenings so I could get home and turn it on.
Wow! I basically just turned off the TV. About 5 months ago I moved to the ocean and the TV is still NOT hooked up.
There really hasn’t been a void because I’m accustomed to doing other things rather than watching TV. It was a great experience to show me how, as you say, these distractions can take over if we allow them to!
I think it is good to be aware of our “style” and work with who we are.
Thanks,
Lauren
says:
I see what you mean about being in both categories, Lauren – point well made! I definitely see some areas of my life in which I’m a moderate. Spending money, for example. I buy a few things that I really value or that I think are high quality; that makes it easier to resist buying every little thing that catches my interest.
says:
I am pruning my Google Reader list. I have to. The best way I found to do this, by accident, is to leave for 4 days and have no time to get online. Then review each blog before I read it, and say, do I need it? Is it in support of my goals? If no, no matter how cute, has to go.
says:
Hope I make the cut! :)
says:
Great post Jeffrey and so true. The reality is that there is only so much that we an focus on at one time and so we have to prioritize and make certain we have room in our days for those things that are most important to us. That also means that we have to make certain our energy isn’t being sucked away by other things that we just can’t seem to do in moderation. Sometimes that really does mean removing things completely.
says:
For me, it often comes down to eliminating all possible options except what I should be doing. If I can’t play video games, can’t waste time online (not including blogging, of course), can’t watch TV, then sooner or later I’ll find myself getting down to work.
says:
I think you nailed it, getting rid of distractions is about refocusing your attention to something else.
Giving up TV is a great goal to have. I may watch 30 mins if not less of TV a day. Its been that way for several years. It’s done wonders for my life and productivity. Thanks for sharing.
says:
Hi Jeffrey,
Nature abhors a vacuum. You do have to find creative ways to fill the void left by abandoning a bad habit or distraction. Blogging has been that for me as well. Any creative endeavor that puts you in “the flow” is a powerful substitute. If you are so absorbed that you “forget” to play video games, watch tv or whatever, then dropping a distraction is far less difficult.
Love your blog! Arvind sent me over here.
Best,
Barrie
says:
Jeffrey -
Thanks for sharing your progress and how you worked through removing distractions and replacing them with new more productive habits. This is a great philosophy and advice for anyone looking to change to a better way of living. Strong post.
Phil
says:
Hi Jeffrey,
Great advice for sure. What really resonated for me was that making space was “only the first step”. What I heard from that was to make space in our lives needs various steps but always simply one at a time. Chunk it out. Really enjoyed reading it and have re-read it a few more and seen something new each time.
Reminds me of the old joke: Q ‘What’s a spaceman?’ A ‘Where you chill out man!”
Many thanks for sharing
John
says:
I appreciate your honesty, especially about the chocolate guzzling. I’d categorize myself as an “everything in moderation” kind of gal. I like wine, chocolate, coffee and yummy ethnic food (Indian, Mexican, Chinese, Thai, Italian anyone)? I also love (seriously, I do) eating veggies and bananas, exercising and writing without any distractions (no TV, no radio, no cell phone). I can eat a half a pizza. I can do 90 minutes of cardio. In the end I always feel great, look good physically (as in, not overweight) and feel good knowing I enjoyed what I wanted in moderation, but didn’t make it an everyday situation. It’s a fun challenge. Every single day.
says:
Great article, and it encapsulates how I am feeling at the moment – I don’t have TV, but will buy the boxed set of some series, tell myself I am only going to watch one episode, then six hours later still there, watching it … I also find that I spend a lot of time on the internet procrastinating – ‘I’ll just check Facebook/RSS feeds/my blog stats one more time then I will start on the work I said I would do’ and two hours later …
This is a great wake-up call – putting it in to practice right now!
says:
‘don’t just empty the closet – design ways to keep it neat.’ I like that. It’s as if one would put some thought into what and why they are cleaning the closet – and not being just on a declutter rampage – where your satisfaction is short lived.
BTW – LOVED Dan Phillips – what a cool guy and fantastic concept.
Dan’s concept of a homeowner doing the sweat equity is similar to Habitat for Humanity’s. Also, Habitat (at least ours here in Santa Rosa, CA) has a ‘ReStore’, a warehouse of left over building materials and appliances available for sale. Lighting fixtures, plumbing, doors, tile – whatever a builder has leftover and can’t use. Items gets a second chance on life by not going into a landfills. good stuff – Thanks Jeffrey